As someone who used to be with the quintessential "avoidant guy" in relationships, I feel compelled to share some hard-won wisdom with those struggling with a partner who keeps one foot out the door. This isn't just professional advice – it's a personal story of transformation and the tough lessons I learned along the way.
The Signs You're Dating an Avoidant
Avoidant partners often show a consistent pattern of behavior:
They struggle with commitment
Communication feels like pulling teeth
They're physically present but emotionally distant
They seem to have perpetual FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)
They're unwilling to show vulnerability
Here's the brutal truth: they're not going to change until they have their own "aha moment." And don't put your life on hold waiting for them to wake up
Why You Need to Let Go
You might be holding onto the potential of who they could become. Trust me, I understand – the potential is seductive. But the potential isn't reality. You can't build a future on maybes and somedays. You deserve someone who is:
Ready for commitment NOW, not eventually
Actively communicating and engaging
Prepared to build a life together
Done playing games
Emotionally available and vulnerable
Moving Forward
Ask yourself: Don't you want to progress to the next level in your life? To build a home with someone? Perhaps even create a business together? These dreams require a partner who's emotionally present and ready for the journey.
You need to be with someone who has already done the work – not someone perfect (nobody is), but someone committed to love and ready to show up fully in a relationship. You need a partner, not a project.
The Bottom Line
Your worth isn't determined by your ability to "fix" an avoidant partner. You are worthy of complete, committed love TODAY – not tomorrow, not when they're "ready," but right now.
Stop investing in someone's potential and start investing in your own happiness. Let go of those who are emotionally unavailable. Choose someone who chooses you, consistently and without reservation.
Remember: Without honest communication and emotional availability, no relationship can truly flourish. It's time to release what isn't serving you and make space for the love you deserve.
About the Author: A secure spiritual woman who no longer waits.
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